I’ve been musing long and hard and finally today it all went ‘clunk’. I’m shooting for a Level 3 goal without completing level 2.
What the hell am I talking about?
Like the rest of all y’all out there I set goals back in January. Mine are pinned to my pinup board above my monitor. I see them everyday. Yep, I’ll get around to that… and that. My focus really has been set on returning to the stage to compete in figure again this September. It’s the sum-total of all my other goals I’ve been ignoring. I had this crazy idea that I could put up a better package without a calm and focused mind, well rested body full of good nutrients and a partner who supports me. Sure, in 16-20 weeks time I could haul my carb-deplete, far from optimally functioning body up on stage. I’d even have a bucket load more muscle but I won’t have gained anything in the journey and I’ll have caused at least small amounts of damage to what’s important to me.
In addition to this, what I’ve barely touched on here however, is that I’ve felt like absolute dog poo most of the year. My imune system has been weak, hormones all over the shop, thyroid function less than optimal and tired. So tired. About a week before my birthday, I finally started to feel GOOD. Jump out of bed and swing kettlebells for fun good. Walking around with a big grin on my face good. Looking forward to EVERYTHING good. Kilo’s finally started to shift that had been piling on and I was eating LOTS of good food. I’d finally found a way of living that had me in tune with my body. We were so on the same page. I stumbled a bit over my birthday and then started to set my focus on comp prep. That feeling dissapeared and I again felt like I was pushing against a brick wall. The feeling I felt on stage last year was AWESOME but just didn’t match the EVERYDAY good feeling I’ve tasted from listening to my body and treating it right.
Two more thing cemented my descision over the last few days. Today I SMASHED my (16 month) dumbell bench plateau (counting shoulder downtime). 30% increase in the last 4 months. Made me think I’m doing something right. And yesterday, I had a quick chat with a local contest organiser and longtime-encourager about something I’d been tossing over in my head. Physique. Truth be told, I’m just not buit for figure. I’m blocky, not long and lean. It’s not an excuse to not be lean. So for now, I’m pushing the bikini to one side and drawing inspiration for ladies like Krista and Renee.
I want to be wicked lean, wicked strong but also something others would aspire to. This means not just living a ‘healthy’ lifestyle but actually being healthy. No wonder none of my nearest and dearest are inspired to change their live because of me. I’m tired and cranky and often sick. 3 weeks ago I started a 12 week challenge. The challenge was see how much I can do to change my body and mind in 12 weeks. This means listening HARD to my bodies feedback and working hard to challenge old beliefs. In the next 9 weeks I will become a LEVEL 2 master. Only then can I start to tackle level 3 goals.
